My favorite lists...

I've done a couple lists recently, so I thought I'd share my favorite list of all time.

Steve Martin in the movie Roxanne gets insulted about his nose and takes a bet to come up with 20 'something betters'.

1. Obvious: Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face.
2. Meteorological: Everybody take cover. She's going to blow.
3. Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger. Like ... Wyoming.
4. Personal: Well, here we are. Just the three of us.
5. Punctual: Alright gentlemen. Your nose was on time but you were fifteen minutes late.
6. Envious: Oooo, I wish I were you. Gosh. To be able to smell your own ear.
7. Naughty: Pardon me, Sir. Some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away.
8. Philosophical: You know. It's not the size of a nose that's important. It's what's in it that matters.
9. Humorous: Laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze and it's goodbye Seattle.
10. Commercial: Hi, I'm Earl Schibe and I can paint that nose for $39.95.
11. Polite: Ah. Would you mind not bobbing your head. The orchestra keeps changing tempo.
12. Melodic: Everybody! "He's got the whole world in his nose."
13. Sympathetic: Oh, What happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?
14. Complimentary: You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on.
15. Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides.
16. Obscure: Oh, I'd hate to see the grindstone.
17. Inquiry: When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid?
18. French: Say, the pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave.
19. Pornographic: Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once.
20. Religious: The Lord giveth and He just kept on giving, didn't He.
21. Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair.
22. Paranoid: Keep that guy away from my cocaine!
23. Aromatic: It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee ... in Brazil.
24. Appreciative: Oooo, how original. Most people just have their teeth capped.
25. Dirty: Your name wouldn't be Dick, would it?

If only I could think that fast in real life...

Lyrical Thursday

Some songs I like just for the tune - some songs I like for the lyrics - and some songs don't even make my 10 ten list, but still, something in the lyrics is really cool.

Here's part 1 of my list of best song lyrics:

Best Canadiana

'Hurtin Albertan with nothing more to lose. Too much oil money, not enough booze.' Corb Lund, Hurtin Albertan

'You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey, and I'd never saw someone say that before'
'You held my hand and we walked home the long way, you were losening my grip on Bobby Orr'
Tragically Hip, Fireworks

And a Couple Random Selections

'All these precious moments you promised me would come in time. So where was I when I missed mine.'
Time won't let me Go, The Bravery

'It's not the right time to be sober, now the idiots have taken over'.
The Idiots are Taking Over, NoFX