Wednesday, January 30, 2008


January has to be the worst month of the year. The funness of christmas is over. New Year's is done. When you finally detox yourself from the excesses of the holiday season you realize that it's still dark and freezing outside and winter is dragging on with no end in sight.

Stupid January - I'll be glad to see you die.

With that in mind - according to my horoscope, February is 'Clean Out Your Brain Month'. So if I see you before Friday, please excuse my excessive cursing. I blame January for pissing me off - plus now I have to get it out of my system.

Fucking January!

Monday, January 28, 2008

Project Quotes

Even during the darkest days of my last project, we could always depend on one thing...flippantness would get us through the day.

Here's some random quotes from the project that was...Mass Effect.

Names have been slightly abbrviated to vaguely protect the not-so-innocent

"I'm thirty-six. For me 'angry white music' is Duran Duran." - P
"BioWare has the fattest pipe in Edmonton." - JA, discussing bandwidth... we hope...

MT: "Wait, they’re doing something cultural..."
J: "...I better throw a grenade."

"We travel through space with PESSIMISM!" - JA, on the Alcubierre Drive's negative energy
"I just want to point out that all our mammals have six legs, and all our insects have four." - C

P: "Two words: Pla-gar-ism!"
CL: "That's three words."

"Man, if I had tenure here, I wouldn't be wearing pants." - D
"You suck at teh internet." - L

P: "I just got dinged by Kevin for a four-day, thirty-six-hour training session."
D: "Why don't they teach you how to avoid meetings so you can get actual work done?"

"You can never truly appreciate how smoothly a Saturn rides until you've ridden in the trunk." - JH

P: "Geopolitics wants us to change the name of the ship from 'Normandy.'"
G: "Why? Are they afraid Germans will be offended by the loss of France?"

P: "Everyone ready to hear the memory budget?"
L: "Did you bring lube?"

D: "My memory of Paris was the time I tried to go to a public bathroom, and I guess they locked them at night, because someone took a s--t right in front of the door. I was like, 'Ah... Paris.'"
L: "City of Lights."

JA: "You know what the world needs more of? Action Science!"
JH: "What's that?"
JA: "I don't know, but the world needs more of it."
This was shortly followed by an e-mail from J stating the following:"Boo. Real action science sucks, and has little or nothing to do with scientists being awesome."

"We've got the X-Box 360! We can do anything! It goes ALL THE WAY AROUND!" - L
"Remember, we make fun, we don't HAVE fun." - P

D: "Whoa! I can see a journal entry in the game!"
P: "Quick, get a screenshot before it crashes!"

"Light a fire for a man; keep him warm for a day. Light that man on fire; keep him warm for the rest of his life." - P

"I can't believe we had Pantless O'Clock and I missed it. But I'm kinda glad I did..." - M

"We don't have a work flow. We have a work WALL. Every day you pick it up and move it an inch forward, and every so often it falls over on you and you have to rebuild it." - KH

Friday, January 25, 2008

Robert Burns

It's time to let your inner scotsman out - it's Robbie Burns day!(

Robert Burns was the man who gave us Auld Lang Syne and is responsible for such poetic turns as:
'Gude ale keeps my heart aboon!' and 'Johnie lad, Cock up your beaver'.

Never one to shy away from slightly more risque material, he also gave us;

'Come rede me dame, come tell me dame, My dame come tell me truly, What length o' graith when weel ca'd hame will sair a woman duly? The carlin clew her wanton tail, Her wanton tail sae ready, l learn'd a sang in Annandale, nine inch will please a lady.'

So head out tonight and tilt a glass for that olde randy scotsman.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

The B-Movie

Did you know that there's a new Rambo movie openning tomorrow?

God bless that Sylvester Stallone. 61 years old and still doing action movies. He's gotta be one of my favorite cheesy movie actors. Demolition Man (who can't appreciate Stallone knitting and a very perky Sandra Bullock), Cliffhanger (who was that girl from Northern Exposure? I always had a crush on her) - heck - let's go back to Death Race 2000 for the ultimate in cheese.

Got a favorite B-Movie?

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Holy Grails

Has the Internet killed the thrill of the hunt?
Is there anything you can't find on the Internet these days? From clothes, books, dvds, dates - pretty much anything you're looking for - if you can't find it in a conventional way, all you have to do is turn on the old Internet and whatever it is you're looking for is only a click away.

Whatever happened to the thrill of the chase? The joy of finding something you've been looking for for ages.

Take Rock Band for example. If you don't know what that is - I guess it can be descibed as karaoke on speed. Guitar, bass, drums and vocals. As close to a band as us musically challenged will ever get. It was a hot item for the holidays this year and I've been checking for it for the last couple weeks and always managed to be at a store about an hour after they sold their last copy. Finally yesterday we were ahead of the game. We got a tip that Superstore had received a big shipment so a bunch of us skipped out on our morning meetings and got there just in time.
Now that's satisfaction. Take that Internet!

By the way, I'm now recruiting a singer for my band if anyone is interested...

Monday, January 14, 2008

Made in China

I'm not sure when China took over the world - it seems to have happened so slowly that I never noticed. Does anyone else find it funny that the bastion of the capitalist world is the last remaining communist super power?

Why is it so impossible to find anything that hasn't been made in China these days?
Salt and Pepper shakers. Blankets. Cookie sheets. Humidifiers. Seems like every shop I go to - Anything I would pick up, whatever it was I was looking at, flip it over and there was that little sign.

Maybe it's impossible to fight. Who can blame people for wanting to buy something as cheaply as possible? Who can blame corporations? They are but driven by shareholders who expect the most return on their money as possible.

2008 and I think this war is lost. I'm not giving up, though - I'm turning this into a guerrilla war. One purchase at a time.

Friday, January 11, 2008

In praise of older women

Well - christmas vacation is almost done so I guess it's long past time that I got back to my routine.

New Year's Eve in Vegas was its usual crazy self. Fremont street was packed with revelers. We were serenaded by a few bands, including the Bangles. Yes...those Bangles. I don't think they've done anything since the mid 90's, so I'm not sure what the comeback occasion was, but I must say - they are still looking pretty fine. I have fond memories of Susanna Hoffs from those days and I will just say WOW, she has aged well.

That's it for me and Vegas, though. I am Vegassed out. No more. 2008 - year of clean living, I tells ya! Hmmmm...I do have that trip to Austin coming up though. This may throw a wrench into my plans. I better go have a drink and think this over.